If I were any better.....

       Every morning at camp our director, Mrs. Anne, says some words of wisdom for us to reflect on for the day. Everyone has their favorites, I have 2 or 3 that I look forward to listening to each year. One of those is the story of Jerry that we heard this morning, which is all about attitude.




Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I choose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man" I knew I needed to take action."

What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead." Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

         So, 1 1/2 weeks of camp down, 2 weeks to go. I can't even begin to explain how amazing camp has been so far! Orientation and clinics flew by and were surprisingly fun this year, and the first week of actual camp was more amazing than I could have imagined. I had one weekers (which is a new thing for camp this year) and they were the itty-bitty babies, only 7 years old! They were precious and hilarious. The group of six 7-9 year olds traveled in a pack all week to all the different activities and I went with them. Since they traveled in a pack we called them the amoeba.... By the end of the week, everyone was calling them the amoeba!! This past week with the amoeba only reiterated the fact that my passion is working with children. I am always awestruck by how capable children are to love and play. They have such an optimistic view on everything and wear their heart and their feelings on their sleeves. My heart is always overflowing with joy after spending time with children. There is so much to learn about yourself from children.

        My week with them Amoeba was nothing less than amusing. I don't know if I have ever laughed so hard in my life, especially when we took them all on an overnight into the woods (what an adventure).... I knew that it would be an amusing week and that I would have some great quotes, so naturally I wrote all the funny and adorable quotes down. (Also, precursor: My campers all called my "Miss Liz" and when I told them they could just call me Liz they said they liked calling me Miss Liz) So here it goes, I hope you enjoy :)

Harper (7 yrs old): I want to be a ballerina when I grow up..... and work at chick-fil-a

Lilly (7 yrs old): (wake me up by tapping me on the shoulder) Miss Liz, what time is it?

Me: 6 am....

Lilly: How much longer until the wake up bell rings?

Me: 2 hours....

Me: Holly, tell me about 1st grade!
Holly (7 yrs old): I have a crush on a guy and he has a crush on me. He signed my shirt! Well, actually I like thousands of guys.

Lilly: Miriam, can you put your hair down?
Miriam: It is down....

Harper: I want to make new friends and not be the person who is like "sorry you cant be my friend, I have too many friends." I'll just make new friends!

Lilly: Miriam is a little crazy, actually a lot crazy. Just don't tell her I told you that.

Lilly: You know, sometimes you just need a bathroom break.

Harper: Maybe I can take my camera up to the barn, if the horse doesn't eat it. He might think it is an apple, because it kinda looks like an apple.

Me: In college, I can wear pajamas to class if I want to.
Harper: And you don't even have to a pajama day pass?!?!? NO FAIR!!

Harper: If only I had short shorts on under this shirt... Then it would look like I was naked.

Me: Lilly, there is water in the dining hall.
Lilly: Is it free?

Harper: I writing down what I am going to run for president. I want there to be more fun, because I like having fun. I'm also going to stop taxes because no one likes paying taxes to the government.

Mary Elliot (9 yrs old): Hot Chocolate makes me feel good!!!

Mary Elliot: Lilly just hit me in the back...
Me: Ok just go run in circles I guess...?
Mary Elliot: Ok (runs in circle around the camp site, in the rain)

Harper: I'm peeing in the woods! Oh look, a firefly!

Miriam (counselor): Are you special Ed? That's what my boyfriend is. I mean he's not, he just teaches special ed.

Sarah (counselor): If a critter comes under my sleeping bag because of you, I'm going to flip you out of this hammock.

      Well, that all I got. Pictures will be coming soon. But here is a preview of my cute cabin!

The Amoeba: a.k.a my companions for the week!

#summertime

       The very long awaited time is here. A time of relaxation, folly, and fun. It's summertime. Actually, I guess it has been summertime for a little over 2 weeks now for me. It just hasn't really hit me that it is actually summer until I got up to camp yesterday. This past year was a long year. Lot's going on and very hard classes. It seems like summer was the light at the end of a never ending tunnel. It was the green light shining on the opposite side of the bay (i've watched Gatsby recently). But alas, I can say I made it and somewhat gracefully I think at least.

       Summer came at just the right time. It always seems to happen that way, doesn't it? This summer is going to be different, but good I think. I usually spend the whole summer working at camp, from May until August. One summer I only spent half the summer at camp, but that was because we were in Australia for the other half of the summer. And I was missing camp every moment that I was away. This summer though, I'm only going to be here for June. I was a hard decision not to stay the whole summer, but I prayed a lot about it and felt like it was the right thing to do. After a long and stressful summer last summer and a rough year this past year I need camp, but I also need time with my family.

       So, for the next 4/5 weeks or so, I will be burrowed away in the heart of the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains. My home away form home. The place that probably had the greatest influence on the woman I am today. I could go on and on about camp, but I'll spare you... for now :) It is one of those place that changes your life, each summer is a life changing summer that greatly shapes your character. And I have no doubt that this summer will be no exception. I just have this feeling that this is going to be a special summer. It will be different though. I honestly have no clue how this session will go, or what I'll be doing. I know I'll have the itty bitty babies for the one week session (which camp has never done before so it is kind of a see how it goes type thing). And I'll be interning with the camp nurse. But after the babies leave, it's all up in the air. Maybe I will have another cabin, maybe I won't. Maybe I will be on Wilderness along with nursing, maybe I won't. There is a lot of uncertainty in the air, which usually makes me anxious. But right now I'm basically like "why worry?," there is no use in that. I'll just go with the flow and see where the wind takes me. What has gotten into me? Who is this person who is actually ok with uncertainty?

       As for the rest of the summer, I don't really know what is going on with that either. There is going to be one week where my parents are gone, so it will just be some serious sister-sister bonding time. We may be going out to Seattle then to do some college visits for Ellen. At some point, we are hoping to go on a family vacation, although we haven't decided where yet.... and Daniel and Vanessa are going to come visit hopefully before I go back to school. I have a long list of things that I either want to do or need to do this summer, whether or not they will get done is another thing... Figuring out my life would be number one on the list. HA, not happening. I'm not ready to face the reality that I will be a grown up in the real world next year.

       New number one on my to-do list: Relax. Have fun. Laugh. Play. Don't worry. Enjoy Summer. 

Young and Beautiful

         So about a week ago or so, I went to see the Great Gatsby with a few friends before leaving for summer. The movie was fabulous. I know that it has gotten a much of mixed reviews but I really enjoyed it. I know I've written about this before, but period pieces like the Great Gatsby, are just something that I can't stay away from. They draw me in. However, what I really wanted to share was a song. The soundtrack to the movie was AMAZING! There was one song that has been stuck in my head almost nonstop. I love it. It is Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey. I must admit, I was never a big fan of Lana Del Rey, especially after her much less than impressive performance on SNL.... This song is beautiful and tragic and just awesome.

A Lesson from Shakespeare

          So, I am pretty much in a state of euphoria right about now. The picture above is what sets the scene and mood for this post. It's beautiful right? For the past few days, and for the next few days, I have been housesitting up in Charlotte, NC for our very close family friends (more like extended family really). However, they have a gorgeous house, with a beautiful backyard and pool and hot tub. So, it has just been me and the two dogs (Axel and Izzy) to keep me company. I must say that it is weird staying in a big empty house all alone, especially after living in a cramped house for a year with 12 other crazy friends who I call family. I haven't really been lonely by any means this week, but it does make me miss Laclede House A (who's song has been running through my head non-stop). But like I mentioned, I have enjoyed this time alone, "me time" as I like to call it. I think it has been really good for me. Being alone just allows me to think, gather my thoughts, process everything that's happened, and then feel secure and free to react. This is what I have been doing a lot recently. Pondering. Asking myself questions. I guess being philosophical..... Which I hate to admit because if you know me, you know that I hate philosophy... I guess my roommate the Philosophy minor or major (I can never remember considering she has like 2 majors and 3 minors....) and a few other friends/acquaintances would be proud of me.

          A lot of things have been running through my mind these past few days. One thing on my mind a lot these days is an idea that Shakespeare presented in many of his plays but most commonly known from The Merchant of Venice. Gosh, there are just so many lessons to learn from Shakespeare. The one I am thinking of, however, is "love is blind." 

                                                                  Jessica: 

But love is blind, and lovers cannot see

The pretty follies that themselves commit.           The idea that when two people are in love, they are unable to see the faults in either themselves or the object of their affection. The feelings of love suppress the area in the brain that controls critical and rational thought. I don't at all think that this only applies to love with a significant other but also loving a friend or a family member. Love is love. It's a absolute. But that doesn't mean it is endless. Couple break up or get divorced, family members stop talking, friends stop being friends. Is it all because of the blindness that love causes? The blindness that can keep us from seeing how a person really is, or how we really are when we are around that person. I'm not at all saying that love is a bad thing. I believe that love is an amazing gift, one to be treasured and cherished.          I recently read through a bunch of old journals and letters that I had written and received and so many questions began flying through my head on this subject. What is it about love that makes us blind? Does it make us blind or do we become blind by some choice? If it isn't meant to be, do using this blindness help us try to stay in love? Is all love blind? Is true love, the love you share with the person you spend the rest of your life with, blind?           I don't know the answers to these questions, and I don't know if I ever will have definite answers to them. I think that is one of the beauties of love. You never have all the answers. It is something that you are constantly learning about.

Appreciate the Little Things

Everyone loves being happy, and there are so many things to be happy about. One of my favorite feelings is that little feeling of happiness that you get from just a small little thing that other people may blow of but to you it means something special. Here are some of the little, beautiful things that bring happiness into my life.

1. Wearing sundresses.

2. Falling asleep in your own bed after being away for a while.

3. Watching balloons float into the air.

4. Waiting at the airport to greet someone you love.

5. When you hear songs from your childhood that you still love.

6. Naps.

7. Hot bubble baths.

8. Walking through a forest in autumn, when every step kicks up colorful leaves.

9. Watching rain drip down a window.

10. Cuddling up in a warm blanket with a cup of hot tea.

11.  The feeling of the sun shining on your back.

12. When someone, especially your parents, tell you how proud they are of you.

13. Being able to completely get lost in a book.

14. Cuddling with baby animals.

15. The sound of children laughing.

16. Getting a letter, like an actual snail mail letter.

17. Looking out on the mountains an realizing how small you actually are.

18. Playing baseball in the backyard.

19. Looking back and understanding why certain things happened the way that they did.

20. Realizing how far you have come in such a short time.

Uncertainty