Finding Neverland

          As a young girl, I was fascinated with the story of Peter Pan, but then again who wasn't? I loved hearing the story of the boy who never grew up, I absolutely love the movie, and the Peter Pan ride has been and probably will always be my favorite ride at Disney World. In fact, the night before moving off to college 2 and a half years ago, I had to watch Peter Pan with my little sister. I love everything about Peter Pan; the indians, pirates, mermaids, and the great adventure that 4 young children and their dog get to embark on. I am pretty sure that growing up, I was determined to find a way to reach Neverland and be the mother for the lost boys. Only if I was Wendy, I don't know if I could have ever left Neverland. As a young girl, the idea of never growing up seemed like a pretty good path to me. I never wanted to go into the real world, or get a job, move away from home, and grow older. I feel like even though I have grown older, there is still that little girl in me somewhere who wishes Peter Pan was real and Neverland did actually exist. But unfortunately, just like the ticking crocodile that is always chasing after Captain Hook, time is always chasing after us, forcing us to grow up.

         As much as I hate to admit it, I am growing up and in about a year and a half I'm going to have to make the transition from college into the real world. And I thought the step from high school to college was daunting. That has nothing on this deadline that is coming up. I know it may seems like a year and a half is a long time from now, but at the rate this year has been going by, the next three semester, the next 44 credit hours are going to fly by in the blink of an eye. And then what? I have to grow up. "Growing up is such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience" The older I get, the scarier growing up gets and the more peace I find about the whole matter. I know that seems completely contradictory, but it somehow is the way I feel.

          Recently, I have been reminded about just how fast I am growing up, and that the little kid in me in becoming less and less a part of who I am. I already mentioned that next year I am going to be graduating and I am going to have to start looking or a job and an apartment and I am going to have to begin the next chapter of my life. So weird. This past weekend, I attended the wedding of my friend Allie and her now husband PJ. It was an absolutely beautiful wedding and I am so grateful that I was able to fly down to Baton Rouge to attend the wedding. This was the first wedding that I have attended in which one of my friends was actually getting married, and I couldn't have asked for a better weekend surrounded by my camp family and friends. Allie is only two years older than me, so basically my age, and I have known her since I was like 8 when we first met at camp. Nothing says that you are growing up, like when your friends begin to get married. It is like the grown up train coming down the track at full force and you are in the way. I have even had girls from my club volleyball teams who now have children. Like wow! But really, when did I become a grown up? 

          Even though I will admit that I am growing up, and will be entering the “real world” in about 18 or so months…. I refuse to lose the child in me. I may be a “grown up” according to society, but I am still a child at heart and I refuse to let that go. I may be 20 but I still love going to camp, dressing up as a pirate, I still love Disney movies, and seeing how far I can jump of the swing, I still believe Disney World is the most magical place on earth and that laughter is the best cure to anything. I do still believe that Neverland exists. It may not be a place where we can fly away to and escape reality and never have to grow up or worry about grown up problems, but it is inside of each an everyone of us. It's a blank canvas that you are born with, and as you grow and dream it is painted by your imagination. It is filled with excitement and adventure. Neverland is whatever you want it to be. So, I guess I don't have to go looking for Neverland, because it has always been a part of me and always will be, even when I do "grow up".

          I guess growing up isn't such a bad thing after all. According to Peter Pan, "To live would be an awfully big adventure."