Friday, November 30, 2012

The Uses of Sorrow

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

-Mary Oliver



          What is written above is an absolutely beautiful poem that I just happened to stumble upon a few weeks ago and has stuck with me ever since. The poem by Mary Oliver is called "The Uses of Sorrow." It is a short and sweet poem, but it is so deep and has really spoken to me over the past few months. 

          I think that so many people often look as sorrow as a punishment or as some terrible thing that they have to put up with. I know for a fact, that until recently that is what I thought of it. Whenever I got a "box full of darkness" I was the first person to ask "why me?" or "what did I do to deserve this?" or the ever so common "really God??" It took me years, until this fall actually, to realize these boxes of darkness, these times of sorrow are not a bad thing. Though they may seem like they are bad and overwhelming, they are actually a gift. You may disagree with me completely, and that is totally ok. I just pray that one day, you can see what I mean, and hopefully you can learn to view sorrows as a gift. Where do your boxes of darkness come from? Do you create them? Do random people give them to you? Do they come from someone you love? It doesn't matter where they come from, what matters is what you choose to do with this darkness when it comes into your life. You have two choices: you can choose to let these sorrows affect you in a negative way, or you can choose to uses them and learn from them. 

          If you choose to do the latter of the two, you are on your way to viewing these sorrows as gifts. When you choose to use sorrows and learn from them, you realize how strong you are and learn so much about yourself. This is what I have learned over the past year or so. The poem above is called the "Uses of Sorrows," it actually encourage is to do something when sorrows come into our life, not just to sit back and mope and do nothing about them. It is hard to receive boxes of darkness, especially from someone you loved, you don't want to believe that it is possible for them to have the ability to do that. But I have learned that sometimes it is those sorrows that are the most useful for learning about yourself. In recent times of sorrow, I have learned how strong I am. I may not have believed that these periods of darkness could be overcome, but somehow I always end up on the other side of them, in one piece I might add. Not only do I make it through them but I come out a better and stronger woman. I learn about what it is I truly want in life, and it is also during these times that I realize what needs to be changed in my life to make me a better person. So when you receive a box of darkness what are you doing to do? Are you going to view it as a burden, or are you going to view it as a gift?

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